This list of broken things seems complete enough now…
Now… how to bring this to Ubisoft’s attention without something horrible happening? The last time I fixed something for Ubisoft, I got a system-wide ban on Steam for malware.
My stance on their DRM and anti-debug, evidently, makes me malicious 
. But I’m pretty firm on this; Ubisoft’s got to do more than fix their game, they need to stop being so hostile w/ their customers. Some of these things are broken precisely because they have so many layers of self-destruct in all of their software.